Psychology for Business
eNewsletter
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We are dedicated to bringing out
the best in you and your employees
Vol.2, No.9 May 4, 2001
IS IT A DOLPHIN OR IS IT A SHARK? DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PERSONALITIES IN THE
WORKPLACE
—
by Dr. Lynda Dahlke, Business Psychologist and Independent Consultant
—
I’m sure that we
have all had the experience of thinking we knew something to be a fact, only to
find out later we were mistaken. Sometimes
this awareness is a relief; at other times it can serve to increase our anxiety.
At any rate, it is generally better to know the truth versus illusion to
help us respond effectively.
On
my family’s first trip to Florida I experienced an incident that helps clarify
this point. It was spring break and
we all eagerly ventured to the beach on our first day in Florida.
The sun was shining, the sand was fine and white and the ocean a
beautiful shade of turquoise. My
daughters were about 13 and 15 years old at the time and were avid swimmers.
I remember sitting on the beach and watching them bob in the waves,
laughter filling the air. Suddenly
I spotted a gray fin sliding along the
surface of the ocean not ten feet from where my daughters were swimming.
Well, this "landlubber" mom jumped
to the conclusion that Jaws was about to have my girls for lunch!
I jumped up and was about to call them back to shore when I overheard
several comments from others about the "beautiful dolphins"
approaching the swimmers. Needless
to say…I learned that dolphins repeatedly dive and surface, where sharks can
cruise along the surface of the water. Relief!
I sat back down and enjoyed the show.
As
I work with organizations that experience problems concerning employee
relationships, I am reminded of the dolphin or shark scenario.
Sometimes
an employee looks like a shark and is really a dolphin or vice versa…sometimes
what appears to be a loyal, hard working, trusted employee is really a shark in
dolphin’s clothing! Have you ever
experienced the strange sensation of someone smiling at you and speaking gently,
while at the same time you have the distinct sensation of a cold steel blade
twisting between your shoulder blades?
*This,
my friend, is a shark trying to look like a dolphin.*
Unfortunately,
most organizations of any size have at least one of these sea creatures.
If there is more than one in an organization, they almost always despise
each other. (Kind of like muskies and northern pikes.) They each need their own
territory.
The
typical scenario includes a hard working individual (sometimes too hard working)
who is on many committees, knows almost everyone and has evolved to a position
of power or control in the organization. They seem to know all the rumors as well as most
"management" level information. Management
tends to look to these individuals for feedback, suggestions and the like.
So why do these people continually attract attention, both good and bad?
That’s
right…they’re sharks in dolphin clothing.
Occasionally
you see flashes of their razor sharp teeth in a comment or an action, but
generally they are very bright and adept at looking like dolphins and usually
providing valued service to the organization.
Their goals and objectives include being needed (they usually don’t like
to share all they know), and having a lot of power and control.
Managers
who are trusting and haven’t spent much time or awareness on "ocean"
matters are great bait for sharks. However,
sharks are more wary of managers who have been bitten before, or who have
developed the ability to "listen to their gut" because these managers
can see through their dolphin costume. Recognizing
sharks is a skill managers can develop, but it takes time, collaboration with
other managers, and a willingness to consider that someone you may count on, for
support and valued service, may be the same individual who creates consistent,
sometimes covert chaos.
Dealing
with sharks can be difficult! You
may need the assistance of an external consultant due to the shark’s pervasive
presence throughout an organization. At
the very least management needs to collaborate regarding the shark so that
information can be shared and a united front be created to keep the shark in its
boundaries.
Frequently
novice or trusting managers may need to be convinced that a shark is swimming in
the organizational waters. They
protest, "look at all he or she does…."; "I’m sure _____ is
unlucky because all these things keep happening to them…".
This is dangerous.
Yes,
it’s true that there are real dolphins in every organization.
But sharks are real too and an organization that allows them to swim
freely through their waters will pay a dear price via lost personnel, possible
harassment litigation, inefficiencies (they need control remember) and poor
morale.
1.
Trust your intuition.
If
something doesn’t "feel" right when interacting with an individual;
pay attention.
2.
Collaborate with other managers.
Have
a network of trusted colleagues to discuss your assumptions safely.
3.
Look for chaos (or at least discord) to be near them.
They
may not be "in" the chaos, but they like to stir it up and often
thrive on it.)
4.
Pay attention to those individuals who seem to ‘need’ a lot of control
or power.
They
may manipulate unsuspecting managers to get it.
5.
Consider using a pre-employment assessment to get more information
prior to hiring.
Shark-like
qualities may show up in the evaluation.
1.
Be consistent. Collaborate with other managers to present a united
front (sharks try to conquer and
divide.)
2.
Set clear boundaries for their behavior.
3.
Recognize the effect sharks have on their peers and subordinates
and support them.
4.
If sharks remain "shark-like" consider getting an outside
opinion regarding the prognosis for coaching
to help or consider terminating the shark.
As
stated previously, sharks can and often do contribute legitimately to an
organization, however the path of destruction left in their wake, if left to
swim freely can cost dearly in lost time, personnel and morale.
So the next time you encounter a problem, ask yourself…
…is
it a dolphin or perhaps a shark??
Swim
safely!
About the Author
Lynda Dahlke, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist with over 20 years of experience working with individuals and
groups from diverse backgrounds and levels of responsibility. She is able to deliver practical, action
oriented assessment and guidance. Lynda specializes in pre-employment assessment, executive and managerial
coaching, conflict management and organizational diagnostics/consulting.
Based in Waukesha, WI, Dr. Lynda Dahlke is available for consultation or coaching by phone, e-mail or in
person. She may be reached at (262) 544-9918 (office), by e-mail at ldahlke@psychologyforbusiness.com or:
Lynda Dahlke, Ph.D.
Psychology for Business
2717 North Grandview Boulevard, Suite 303
Waukesha, Wisconsin, 53188
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(c) Copyright 2001. All rights reserved. Lynda Dahlke. Distribution rights: The above material is
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